I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My balls are so social today.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize