as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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