dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
