Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
