I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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