I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
