I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
