Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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