I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
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I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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