At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
