College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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