If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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