did you get engaged???
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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