I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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