I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
