we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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