"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
