You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
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bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
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I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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