When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize