i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
