And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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