I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
