wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize