can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
