We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
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Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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