My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
one might say we're banned from that church
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
