Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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