She's JV to your varsity
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
