get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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