As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
