i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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