I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
