are you still at the devil's house?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
