she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
