if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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