found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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