remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
