I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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