Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
