Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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