coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
