Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
