I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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