so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
