you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
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don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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