Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize