There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
