just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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