I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
