You're my little dorito
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
