He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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