I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
