therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
