I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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