she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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