Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
