Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
