I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
