Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
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I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
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I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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