Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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