People with herpes should wear stickers.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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