Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize